Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What drives AISLE SAY crazy in the dog days of August

Things that drive Aisle Say crazy in the Dog Days of August:

The multitudinous ways that our favorite ex-despot's name is spelled. Is it Gadhafi, Qaddifi, Gaddafi?? Let's make a decision.
The riveting news that Paris Hilton fakes being on her cellphone to avoid conversations with paparazzi. (And then, come to discover, a percentage of the American population do exactly that!). Paris is quite the trend setter.
The chicklet toothed Christine O'Donnell appears on Piers Morgan to unashamedly promote her vacuous book and then is offended by his “borderline sexual harassment that was going on”. C O'D continues to embarrass Delawareans, including the majority from her own party.
The double truck newspaper ads to buy your gold....each at the best price ever!
The scandal of college athletics. It's not the players fault. It's not the coaches fault. It's not even the immorality of the boosters. It's the entire system. When the football coach makes 3 times the salary of the university president and 10 times that of professors, well, there's something rotten in ...(name a D-1 university town)
Why Cheney and Rumsfield are not jailed for the war criminals they are. They lied to us about WDM and Saddam's relationship with Osama, provoking the first pre-emptive war in our history
The Democratic press that gives Pres Obama props for the “courage” to kill Bin Laden. Hallo? That was one of the pivotal objectives to begin this second war, a “necessary war”, in Obama's terms. That wasn't courageous; it was strategy.
If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.
That prosecutors nationally are losing their mojo: eg: Casey Anthony, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and the Roger Clemens debacle.
Michelle Bachman declaring that when she becomes President gas prices will be down to $2.00? Huh? Tell that to the Saudi sheikh's.
That our leaders are not the strong silent types with the steely gaze of an Eastwood or Wayne or McQueen and speak only when necessity dictates.
That M&T, in what must be considered reverse psychology, is charging these same loyal customers $.50 to use the ATM.
That Presidential candidate Perry states that climate change is a hoax. (Texas is experiencing its worst drought in decades.)
That Cat Stevens won't do a tour.
That machine guns are sold in gun shops and straw buyers are as easy to ascertain with the outlay of a C note.
Tattoos on the neck. Yuck
That there are no Congressional term limits and that Congress gets free health care
That Kim Kardashian made $17 million on her wedding. Reports are that the only one who didn't cry was step-dad Bruce Jenner, who had had his tear ducts surgically removed.
That anyone seriously thinks we will win in Afghanistan. Larry of Arabia was the ONLY hero to bring tribes together...and only then for a very short time.
That the concept of Earth Shoes has never been refuted. Now, 30 years later, manufacturers are finally getting the message. (Lower heel sole which reduces stress on the smaller toe bones)
That we view the victories and misfortunes of celebrities as a narrative for our own lives.
That dementia may be the ugliest disease of them all.
That Tonto never said, “Kiss my butt, White man”, to the Lone Ranger
That Rupert Murdock can appear so imperious and oblivious simultaneously.
Why we continue to be nation builders (Arab Spring) while our own nation's infrastructure is crumbling
Why Aisle Say does not have a chicklet smile.

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