Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What drives AISLE SAY crazy in the dog days of August

Things that drive Aisle Say crazy in the Dog Days of August:

The multitudinous ways that our favorite ex-despot's name is spelled. Is it Gadhafi, Qaddifi, Gaddafi?? Let's make a decision.
The riveting news that Paris Hilton fakes being on her cellphone to avoid conversations with paparazzi. (And then, come to discover, a percentage of the American population do exactly that!). Paris is quite the trend setter.
The chicklet toothed Christine O'Donnell appears on Piers Morgan to unashamedly promote her vacuous book and then is offended by his “borderline sexual harassment that was going on”. C O'D continues to embarrass Delawareans, including the majority from her own party.
The double truck newspaper ads to buy your gold....each at the best price ever!
The scandal of college athletics. It's not the players fault. It's not the coaches fault. It's not even the immorality of the boosters. It's the entire system. When the football coach makes 3 times the salary of the university president and 10 times that of professors, well, there's something rotten in ...(name a D-1 university town)
Why Cheney and Rumsfield are not jailed for the war criminals they are. They lied to us about WDM and Saddam's relationship with Osama, provoking the first pre-emptive war in our history
The Democratic press that gives Pres Obama props for the “courage” to kill Bin Laden. Hallo? That was one of the pivotal objectives to begin this second war, a “necessary war”, in Obama's terms. That wasn't courageous; it was strategy.
If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.
That prosecutors nationally are losing their mojo: eg: Casey Anthony, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and the Roger Clemens debacle.
Michelle Bachman declaring that when she becomes President gas prices will be down to $2.00? Huh? Tell that to the Saudi sheikh's.
That our leaders are not the strong silent types with the steely gaze of an Eastwood or Wayne or McQueen and speak only when necessity dictates.
That M&T, in what must be considered reverse psychology, is charging these same loyal customers $.50 to use the ATM.
That Presidential candidate Perry states that climate change is a hoax. (Texas is experiencing its worst drought in decades.)
That Cat Stevens won't do a tour.
That machine guns are sold in gun shops and straw buyers are as easy to ascertain with the outlay of a C note.
Tattoos on the neck. Yuck
That there are no Congressional term limits and that Congress gets free health care
That Kim Kardashian made $17 million on her wedding. Reports are that the only one who didn't cry was step-dad Bruce Jenner, who had had his tear ducts surgically removed.
That anyone seriously thinks we will win in Afghanistan. Larry of Arabia was the ONLY hero to bring tribes together...and only then for a very short time.
That the concept of Earth Shoes has never been refuted. Now, 30 years later, manufacturers are finally getting the message. (Lower heel sole which reduces stress on the smaller toe bones)
That we view the victories and misfortunes of celebrities as a narrative for our own lives.
That dementia may be the ugliest disease of them all.
That Tonto never said, “Kiss my butt, White man”, to the Lone Ranger
That Rupert Murdock can appear so imperious and oblivious simultaneously.
Why we continue to be nation builders (Arab Spring) while our own nation's infrastructure is crumbling
Why Aisle Say does not have a chicklet smile.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Ode to Greg Tigani

Cole Porter's single greatest contribution to the 'pop culture' of 1934 may well be the playfully allusive “You're The Top” from 'Anything Goes'. It was a catalog of topical and cultural events, products, famous people, literature.
It is contemporaneously used by unpolished scriveners such as AISLE SAY to satirize current events.

Sample from Porter. Please sing along at home:

You're the top!
You're the Colosseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare's sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.

With that preamble, please continue singing....


Need some beer?
Call Chris Tigani
Out of booze?
He's the licensee...e
Got a sweetheart deal from Gover...nor Aunt Bee
Want Eagles tix?
Maxim's hot licks
He's Mr. Geniality!

You pay to play
All's cozy in Dover
Alcohol ...will win votes over
When Ruthann flies to Canada by air
His charter is gratis. He has the status.
“Big deal.... Who cares?”

We're a team
It's called... Team Minner
Have a Bud
Won't make you thinner
Need a caravan to Margaritaville?
He's charismatic
Yet so pragmatic
Hey...Down a swill !!

Bought a home
From a guy named Charley
Took a loan
Was a tad bit tardy ($$) :-(
He wanted the power (Pass the whiskey sour!)
Needs a monopoly!!

Just liked to party
He's a mess
Big time full hardy
Took Dad to trial. He said he was unfit..
He's the intoxicator
The 'liquid' ator
A narcissist!!

(Maxim Chorus Girl Pillow Fight Finale)
Yes, baby, he's a player,
Yes, baby, he's a player
He's the top!!

DE Division of Arts Grants...and more

No need to rehash the value of a vibrant arts community for this or any state. Kudos to Governor Markell and the General Assembly for providing level funding while the National Endowment of the Arts has reduced their offerings to us by 10%. (One wonders how many Tomahawk missiles cascading down on Gadhafi and costing $1 million each that 10% would take up...1,maybe 2?)
In reviewing the Aisle Say column from 2009 on the grants, here are some comparisons:
'09 – 88 organizations received 118 grants. This year the total was 99 grants from about the same amount of money; $1.5 million.
DE Center for Contemporary Arts received a total of $95,000.00 in three categories, $9,000.00 less than The Grand. Relative to total traffic between the two, there is disproportion there.
Opera Delaware received $63,000.00; DAM, $98,000.00; DE Symphony, $99,000.00
Joyful surprises :-) : The always innovative DE Theatre Company, maximizing their tiny black box stage to hallucinogenic proportions, received a whopping $95,000. Wilmington Drama League, an energetic community theatre here for 7 decades, $33,000.00. The UD's PTTP REP, the best theatre in the state and running in parallel universe to the best in NY, was the recipient of $17,000 for “Project Support”. With the quality they provide in every aspect, that money probably covers the cost of costumes for 2 shows.
Morose surprises :-( : New Candlelight Musical Theatre must not have applied. With the Twiggy sized margin they work in, they need – and deserve the money...more than, say the DE Dance Studio, which for years running has received $32,000. Same this year. They scarcely have an impact past the mums and dads and grandparents that sit through the yearly recitals. I am calling for Beau Biden to investigate this. This grant has inside job, “Bridge to Nowhere” written all over it. YMCA Delaware, catering to thousands upon thousands more, received $2,000.00 for their dance and drama program. First State Ballet received only $17,000.00; not much for DE's only professional ballet company. (Perhaps they should hire DE Dance Co's bag man.)
More morosity: Dover's Schwartz Center, a rehabilitated Victorian Grand Opera House-like theatre (with not much grand about it) was a public private initiative 15 years ago. “Rehab it and they will come.” They didn't. It sits empty the majority of the time yet still received $41,000.00, I assume to pay energy costs.

Soon the theatre season starts with a vengeance. UD's REP Ensemble opens with Lillian Hellman's classic, “The Little Foxes”. The second show is “Noises Off”, a play-within-a play offering the hysteria of Groucho, Chico and Harpo. Lola will get what she wants at New Candlelight in Sept with “Damn Yankees.”
Opera Delaware's main stage productions are “THE MAGIC FLUTE” Oct. 30m, Nov. 4 & 5, 2011 and “PORGY AND BESS” May 6m, 11 & 12, 2012. The NY Times reported a new version of “Porgy” will open at The American Repertory Theatre in Boston and move to Broadway. Written in 1934 by a man the likes of Irving Berlin called 'The Master”, this first and greatest American opera broke more boundaries than Jesse Owens. The songs are transcendental.